Last night at the gym in between climbing rock walls, a friend was poking fun at me for making New Year’s resolutions. He said that not succeeding in accomplishing what you set out at the New Year would just be a direct route to feeling like a failure. I was baffled by his attitude but as I thought about it, I recalled the many people I have known and their similar outlooks. 

I have always been a planner, but with that critical element of spontaneity and ability to be flexible when it’s called for. I have gone through my own trials and tribulations in failing and being successful enough to know what has cost me my goals in the end. So as 2009 came to a close, here are my thoughts on why people fail to accomplish their resolutions and how to be successful in the future. 

1)     Making Lofty Goals Without a Plan to Accomplish Them:

What is the big goal? Now what smaller steps do you need to take to reach that bigger goal? Break it down into how long it might take (reasonably) to accomplish each milestone and one or more of those milestones (not the goal) will be your New Year’s Resolutions. When I decided I wanted to be a runner, had I pushed myself to run a half-marathon that first year, I never would have made it. Instead, my goal was to run 5 minutes without stopping and to increase that by two minutes every week until I could run a 5K. The next year, I went from being a 5K runner to completing my first half-marathon. 

2)     Creating Great Resolutions and Telling No One:

Making a commitment to yourself (your health, finances, love life, etc.) and keeping it to yourself at the New Year is akin to resolving to fail. It’s one thing to let yourself down, but letting others down can be humiliating and that fear stops people.  However, sharing your epiphanies with others creates the action. Resolve this year to be so committed to yourself that you shout at the top of your lungs to your friends, family and co-workers your plans to lose ten pounds, or run a 5K, or finally go on that vacation, or quit eating red meat, etc. In doing so, you create a support group to ask you how your gym sessions are going, or if you need a running group, etc. 

3)     Not Rewarding Yourself For Small Successes/Punishing Yourself For Small Failures:

You can go to any gym in America and they will tell you the busiest weeks are the first two weeks in January, when people have resolved to work out and then it sharply drops off by the time February hits. Point in case: you make a resolution to work out 5 times a week and you begin the year gung ho, join the boot camp class and it’s going great, for two weeks. Then life gets in the way and you are only going 3 times a week, then once, and then not at all. It’s easy to become disenchanted the first time you fall off the boat. The challenge in life is getting back in the boat after you fall out, over and over again. When I make my weekly workouts, I reward myself with a special meal, or something else small. When I fail, I don’t beat myself up, I challenge myself to get back out there. I have successfully managed to keep getting back in the boat for two years straight, no small feat. 

Whatever you resolve to do as 2010 begins, resolve to do something great for yourself and the world around you.